Loving self – an alternative path III

Loving self – an alternative path III

We have been exploring the G.R.O.W.T.H. model for developing and loving self. Loving self is a healthy practice and should not be confused with being selfish. We have emphasized the importance of a firm grounding and clearly defined goals. Respect for others, the environment and God were identified as essential elements of your programme. We pointed to the value of maintaining a positive outlook and being open-minded. We also indicated that your command of words and your ability to listen to them effectively are major steps in your quest for personal development.

Today, we examine the T and H zones of the G.R.O.W.T.H. model. As we enter the T zone, we highlight the central position of communication as we focus on the nature of your talk. We are admonished in the Scriptures to speak the truth in love. That demands a degree of tactfulness. We must recognize the potential for a verbal assault to produce deeper and more enduring hurt than some physical assaults. In a culture in which, increasingly, the language, tone and content matches the ‘screw face’ of the speaker, your tact will confirm your class.

Your talk with others and with your Creator should be heavily seasoned with thankfulness. People are not fond of ingrates and the readiness to acknowledge the contribution of others is a universally endearing feature. You will notice also that there is a powerful psychic payback that you get from recognizing your blessings and the appreciating just how special you are to others.

We urge you to position yourself to teach. We all have the capacity to present insights that may be helpful to others. Develop an interest in gaining knowledge that you can share. Passing on useful information is a most fulfilling experience.

We cannot leave the T zone without drawing attention to the need to develop your time management skills. There is an angle from which we could regard time as our most fundamental resource and yet it literally here this second and gone the next. Do yourself the favour of completing a log of your time usage for at least a week. We contend that after you deduct sleeping, commuting, eating and hygiene related activities there are two full workweeks available to you each calendar week. Compare your usage of one or both of those shifts to your vision and goals. Are you impressed?

Our final stop in the T zone relates to embracing appropriate technology. You have mastered the use of the wheel to the extent that you no longer think about it. Put yourself on the same footing in the area of Information and Communications Technology. Here is an opportunity in waiting – be ready.

Elements in the T zone to avoid include: temper tantrums, talking down to others, truancy, tearing others down.

We open the doors to the H zone to examine your level of health consciousness. As we get a better understanding of how closely inter-connected mind, body and soul are, the issue of health demands attention. It has direct implication for all your aspirations.

Critically, you must evaluate your current state of health at least once per year with a health care professional. Remember, it is your health and your funds. Do not be afraid to ask questions and to seek alternative opinions. The life you save may be your own. You also need to be hungry for information on proper nutrition and to develop the discipline to eat wisely. Many experts believe that nutrition is at the core of all medical problems.

Your health watch must also include an exercise regime. We suggest that you view your exercise period as an opportunity for bonding with others.

When hope is lost, things fall apart. You must device mechanisms that you will use to fan the flame of hope and drive away the clouds of doom.

Our next task in the H zone is to re-visit some old home truths and to state honestly that honesty is the best policy. There are very many reasons why we fail to adhere to this rule but there is invariably a price to pay and the price is always too high.

We recognize also as the song says that it is hard to be humble when you are perfect in so many ways. However, humility is not synonymous with weakness and we are touched when an obviously powerful individual puts his might under subjection. We have marvelled for 2000 years at the fact that Jesus refrained from using His powers to protect Himself.

We leave the H zone with an appeal for you to try to be helpful. The two fundamental spiritual laws are loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbour as ourselves, where neighbour is defined as any other person. Achieving the second in effect means that whatever we wish for ourselves we should try to make available to everyone else. That’s a challenging thought but you can at least make a serious effort to improve the lot of other people on an ongoing basis. Once again, the twist is that once you get into that mindset your giving will never be able to keep pace with the abundance that you receive!

We encourage you to avoid:
* Hiding behind others - -- do your own bidding.
* Hasty judgement --- be rational and thorough in your decision-making.
* Hassling others --- be a peacemaker not a warmonger.

Don Miguel Ruiz in "The Four Agreements" identifies a major obstacle to loving self. He identifies the prospect of self-rejection that comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. He suggests that you make and keep agreement with yourself. Tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe and how to behave.

Trevor & Althea Smith

The Smiths are directors of INFOSERV INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, an Accredited Training Organization. They have been happily married since 1972 and have been engaged in providing coaching for their 3 daughters and for groups and corporations in personal development workshop sessions,, including the acclaimed “Success with People” series. E-mail: trevor.smith@extendeddisc.com